Hairdresser/Barber’s Shop Etiquette”.
Have you ever wondered why the world over, the beauty parlor, and the barber’s shop are the best places to pick up the juiciest gossip? Sometimes someone starts a topic that makes many of the patrons join in vociferously and energetically. “Don’t quote me, but I have it on good authority that…” Could it be that the therapeutic effect of the luxurious lather on the chin; the hypnotic hum of the clippers or the soothing fingers administering a scalp massage that throw caution to the wind; loosen the tongue and cause people to share intimacies; trade stories or share information of an often private/intimate nature?
Often the beautician or barber finds him/herself in a similar situation to a psychiatrist or medical practitioner. His patron may confide in personal details, recent events, or his/her fears, joys, and dreams. The difference is that the barber/beautician is not bound to a professional code of ethics, but is rather guided by his or her moral code of ethics, which could sometimes give way to the temptation passing on information in the name of good old ‘harmless’ gossip. Quite often too, the combination of the prowess of a good storyteller, coupled with a vivid imagination and a little tweaking here and there would cause a ‘true story’ to be colored beyond recognition. And before you know it careless stories, gossip and bad news fly around.
What are the dictates of good etiquette in the above-painted scenario? Let’s assume a person well known to you is being discussed, and an incident concerning that person has been distorted and misrepresented. What would be the proper thing to do? Do you set the record straight or remain silent and make a silent resolve not to visit that establishment again? Or should you perhaps inform the person being discussed, what the public opinion is about him/her?
Good manners dictate that you show courtesy and consideration in any situation. It requires you to take the interests of others into account. It also expects you to be a good listener and not to be openly judgmental of others. However, it does not stop you from voicing your opinion, albeit politely and with charm on an issue you are well informed about. In such an instance, state your view clearly acknowledging the people who spoke earlier to get them on your side (e.g., ‘As Beta so cleverly pointed out just now…’) Whatever, your view, refrain from being embroiled in any argument.
Remember the motive of your intervention is to ensure that distorted story about people you know quite well is not bandied around. You can do so without necessarily divulging your connection to the person who is being misrepresented. It also does not preclude you from letting the person concerned know what is being said about him/her and what you did. As a matter of fact, it will give that person the opportunity to correct such a bad impression.
It is important to stress that good manners require people to be courteous when discussing in public places. Personal issues should not be brought to the public domain. It is discourteous to make passing remarks about a person behind them. We should ask ourselves some questions inwardly before uttering any word. Is what you’re going to say wholesome? Will it help in building others up? Of what benefit would it be to the hearer? You may find this difficult at first, but with much practice and effort you’ll become conscious of what you say.
CONSIMA Protocol & Finishing School is at your service with courses that include ‘Public Speaking and How to Speak in Public’ Look out for our Spring Time-Table.
Compliments of the Season! Your CONSIMA Team